i know it's inevitable. sometimes i hate you for making me go through this. this pain. this gut-wrenching agony. it hurts just to think about it and i can't stop my brain from lingering on it every so often. i'm prepping myself for the eventual onslaught but i know there's no way i could fully prepare myself for the loss. i wish you'd believe me when i tell you that you deserve someone so much better. because at the same time, i'm trying to convince myself that i'll be okay after you. i know that time heals wounds and at some time down the road, i'll be able to think of you without heavy sorrow. one part of me wishes you could just stop this now so i can start the process of moving on. but then again, the other part of me refuses. i despise myself for all the wishful thinking. you're both the worst and best thing that could have happened to me. i want to scream at you. i want to hold you tight.
but only time can tell.
