Man oh man. Am I always this depressing? I look back on my blogs and I become rather disgusted with myself.

HELEN, go to your room and put some BIG GIRL PANTS ON.

(ps. If you, dear blogger, ever hear/read about me whining again, feel free to smack me on the head. as many times as it takes for me to realize that I should shut up. :P )

On another note, I still can't seem to believe I'm a senior. What? I "rule" the school? It seems so surreal. The fact that I know practically every nook and cranny of this giant place and can pretty much weasel my way out of everything with my teachers. I walk down the halls and it disconcerts me how people know my name when I a) have never seen them before or b) they're too popular to know my name.

It was just yesterday that I was poring over my CV school map, memorizing exactly where my classes were, in what order and what path I would take to get to them. (Hey, I was a perfectionist. And besides, I hate getting lost.) Only this morning, I was sitting on Philip's dock on Fourth of July, semi-skinny dipping with Janni and Adam and devouring Tonya's amazing cookies. It feels like it was only six hours ago that I was playing at Jacob's lake cabin during the summer, getting the crap beat out of my legs.

And another topic jump: I'm slow to admit this but I'm so glad Cameron came into my life. (Dear blogger, I'll try to keep this relatively non-gushy.) The beginning was tough. Oh man it was hard to get through. Sometimes I would wonder if it was all worth it. A boy for a friendship? I couldn't seem to get over it. But over this past year, I've slowly come to realize that I wasn't the wrong one. Sure, there were definitely some things I should have handled better but it wasn't my fault. It was so relieving to finally realize that. Cameron. He just makes me want to get out of bed and do everything to the best of my ability. He's a great kid and I can't wait to see where his future is going to take him. Thank you for an amazingly breathtaking six months.

Well, it's almost 1am. and I should be getting some sleep. But I'm currently too estatic due to two reasons:

I got into UW Honors and Boston College!!

(PHIL. WE'RE GOING TO COLLEGE!) :D

ps. currently loving this and have been for quite awhile: Love Story meets Viva La Vida